


caution to the wind

by askmeaboutmyoctopustheory



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural, Fear Boners, M/M, mansfield reformatory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 05:19:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18844441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askmeaboutmyoctopustheory/pseuds/askmeaboutmyoctopustheory
Summary: Buzzfeed unsolved AU where Klaus can see that there are no ghosts on location but just gets a kick out of Diego getting spooked by the wind





	caution to the wind

 

“Hello everyone and welcome back to Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural. I’m Diego and this is Klaus and today we once again dive into the question, Are ghosts real?” 

 

Klaus rolled his eyes at Diego’s ridiculous intro, catching eyes with their cameraman, Five. A few years ago Diego had approached him about standing in for a co-worker on his new show, Unsolved. Klaus had long since been unable to deny the man anything, and had found himself roped into ghost hunting on the Queen Mary. The abandoned ship was teeming with spirits, but not a single one bothered them that night. Of course Klaus only knew this because he had powers which allowed him to see and speak to the dead, but Diego didn’t know that. Nobody knew that. Well, Klaus had suspected that Five knew  _ something _ , he was a smart kid. After he had been assigned camera crew for that first Queen Mary shoot, the three of them grew so popular with fans that there they were still, two and a half years later. 

 

“...And today, we’re here at the Mansfield Reformatory of  _ Shawshank Redemption _ fame.” Diego had been talking about their location. “What do you think Klaus? Think we’re gonna make contact tonight?”

 

Klaus barked out a laugh. This location was about as quiet as a ‘haunted’ location could get. He had only heard the generic whispers of spirits that come along with a new location. He was certain they would not make contact with them tonight. 

 

“I think you know the answer to that, Di.” Klaus said, tilting his head to give Diego his patented Look™, trying not to make his eyes too fond.

 

“Oh come on, Klaus! There’s gotta be something about this place!?” Diego huffed as he crossed his muscular arms across his chest.

 

“Hmm got lovely Romanesque architecture.” Klaus had a teasing lilt to his voice. “Wonder if this is original steel work.”

 

Diego just sent him a withering look and signaled to Five to cut the tripod camera. They would do most of the work with the handheld and body cams from here on out. They settled into a familiar routine of setting up their equipment, strapping their GoPros on and grabbing head lamps so their hands would be free. Five picked up their handheld B-roll camera and they began meandering through the prison.

 

Diego was a pretty tough guy, known around the office for his intense workout routine and that he was in the amature boxing league. He had a knife throwing range in his basement. He was also the life of every Buzzfeed party or happy hour, busting out dance moves that made the newer interns drop their jaws to the floor. He was also the biggest scaredy cat Klaus had ever encountered. Case in point, a hot summer breeze drenched with the smell of rain rolled through the halls of the reformatory, causing Diego to squawk and jump into the air. He had pulled a knife out of his belt at the sound of the rustling dirt and leaves, which left Klaus wheezing behind him.

 

“Shut up!”

 

“Your face!! Oh baby, that’s priceless. you’ll see it in the footage.” Klaus was doubled over wheezing. Diego was making such a racket that spirits definitely wouldn’t be communicating now. 

 

“Don’t call me baby. And we’re here” Diego gestured to a cell next to them. It might be the low light of the flashlight but Klaus thought he saw a blush on the shorter man’s neck.

 

Klaus’s eyebrow twitched up. “Number 13? Really?”   
  
Diego rolled his eyes and launched into his explanation to the camera. This cell was known as ‘The Hole’ and was supposedly the most active during haunts. Many of the prisoners had taken their own lives here, since it was the solitary confinement cell. There was a small corner cell where they had decided to investigate on their own, with barely enough room for the two of them to stand chest to chest. Klaus could see that Diego’s eyes were wide and nervous, he was on edge like he always was at locations. 

 

“I-Is an-anyone there? We me-mean no harm?” Diego’s stutter only came out when he was really scared, something about this location was really messing with him. 

 

Some rodent or other vermin scuttled in the distance, making a noise. Diego whimpered and squeezed his eyes. He tried to take steady breaths and control his heart rate….as well as other parts of his body. Diego knew it was fucked up that fear and pleasure sensors got a little muddled in his brain, but he couldn’t really control it. He just didn’t want to humiliate himself further in front of Klaus. Klaus, who was looking around like he was bored.

 

“Spirits! You assholes! Get out here and spook us before Diego dies of nerves!” Klaus shouted, laughing as Diego squeaked in terror. It was silent for several minutes, the only sound was Diego’s wheezy breathing. “See? Nothi-”   
  
“JESUS FUCKING-” Diego screamed as lightning from a far off storm lit up the Ohio sky. 

 

He was fully leaning on Klaus now, breathing shallow and forced. He was glad for their body cameras putting some space between them because he was also aware that his blood was rushing south. Klaus took his face in both his hands and stared at him with his expressive green eyes.

 

“Hey. Hey Di?” His voice was soft and one hand briefly darted down to turn their cameras off. “It’s ok.”

 

Oh no, no no. Diego’s thoughts were racing as Klaus pulled him in tight. He whined softly as Klaus gave him a tight hug, trying only to calm him down but unfortunately, his little  _ situation _ made itself known.

 

Klaus chuckled, “I knew there had to be a reason you dragged me all over the country for this shit.” He pressed them even closer, touching from chest to thigh. “You get off on this?”   
  
“NO! Maybe? I dunno, it’s more just a response?” Diego squeaked out.

  
“Well. Lets see how that response goes back at the hotel, hm?”   
  
They had never wrapped a shoot so quickly.

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh yeah lol shoutout kliego discord for this
> 
>  
> 
> find me there or on twitter @_AMAMOT


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